This month in the Late Diagnosis Club: Autistic Love, Reimagined
Check out our February activity calendar! Check out this month's Virtual Writing Circle, Book Club, Educational Workshop for our paid members.
Each February, popular culture narrows love into a highly specific script, but Autistic love is so much more expansive than that. Let’s celebrate romantic love - and SELF-LOVE together.
Autistic love does not perform in the ways mainstream culture expects. It may not center spontaneity, constant verbal reassurance, or physical affection on demand. Instead, Autistic love can show up in acts of service, in remembering details, in solving problems, and in staying together. Let’s hear it for couch time!
For many people who discover they are Autistic later in life, love is one of the first areas where the past begins to reorganize itself. Relationships that once felt confusing, fragile, or “off” are suddenly seen through a new lens. What was labeled as intensity, distance, or mismatch often turns out to be a difference in how love is expressed, perceived, and understood. It’s also a time for us to discover what self-love means to us and how to put that ahead of our romantic goals and relationships.
This is part of why Autistic love also tends to be flexible about gender, sexuality, and relationship structure. Many Autistic people disrupt traditional scripts. In Autistic Culture speech, we call this “Norm-Challenging” (pillar 3)! Many Autistic couples build our connections around shared interests. Spending time immersed in the same topic, world, or activity creates rhythm and safety. Parallel play, being together without needing constant interaction, can feel deeply connecting rather than distant. Understanding Autistic love is not about learning how to love “better.” It is about recognizing patterns that were always there and finally having language for them.
This is what we will explore together (along with other things!) in the Late Diagnosis Club this month. We will spotlight 4 members and we will meet live on Zoom (cameras always optional) 4 times to explore themes of healthy productivity with therapeutic writing, a book club selection featuring the book We Will Rest!, a member infodump, and a sensory mapping workshop.
If you are not already a supporting member, just click upgrade in the top right hand corner on the AutisticCulture.substack.com page, but no one is ever turned away who wants to join and can’t afford it.
If you are already a member, keep reading for the member’s only schedule for the month.
