How Amy's Autism Discovery Ended Her Good-Girl Era
In this episode, Angela talks with Amy Permann about how discovering she’s Autistic helped her stop pleasing everyone and start living authentically.
In this meeting of The Late Diagnosis Club, Dr Angela Kingdon welcomes Amy Perman, a writer and Substack creator who discovered she’s Autistic in her 50s after decades of burnout, people-pleasing, and perfectionism.
Amy shares how years of misdiagnosis, family expectations, and toxic workplaces shaped her identity — and how her autism discovery finally gave her permission to slow down, set boundaries, and build an intentional life on her own terms.
Together, Angela and Amy discuss self-diagnosis, trusting intuition, unlearning pressure, and why self-acceptance is a radical act of care.
🎧 Listen to this episode:
🪑 Attendees
Chair: Dr Angela Kingdon — Author, community-builder, and Autistic advocate
Guest: Amy Permann — Autistic writer and creator of Seeking Authenticity
You: The Listener!
🗒️ Meeting Agenda
Opening remarks from the Chair
Member introduction: Amy’s journey from “good girl” to self-advocate
Discussion: Misdiagnosis, boundaries, and self-trust
Key learnings from the meeting
Club announcements
🧾 Minutes from the Meeting
1️⃣ Opening Remarks
Angela opens by asking: What happens when your entire life is built around expectations that were never yours?
She welcomes Amy as a club member who’s learning to unlearn—redefining success, self-care, and what it means to live authentically.
2️⃣ Member Introduction: Amy’s Story
After years of therapy and being the “good daughter,” Amy learned she was Autistic — not broken, not oversensitive.
Her diagnosis followed her niece’s, sparking a journey through online communities, self-assessment, and finally, a validating experience.
3️⃣ Discussion Highlights
Parentified and People-Pleasing: How early responsibility shaped Amy’s self-image.
The Good Girl Mask: Why pressure isn’t a motivator — and why saying no is survival.
Trusting Your Own Intuition: Unlearning the habit of assuming others know best.
Medical Gaslighting & Boundaries: Why autistic women often stop seeking care — and how Amy’s learning to ask questions again.
Living Authentically: From checklist living to joyful presence — finding beauty in small moments, cats, and nature.
4️⃣ Key Learnings
You can’t heal by pleasing everyone.
Autistic women deserve support that trusts their self-knowledge.
Self-diagnosis and formal diagnosis are equally valid paths to clarity.
Living authentically means honouring your timing, your needs, and your truth.
📣 Club Announcements
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💬 Join our online meetups and community at latediagnosis.club.
📌 Check the LDC Notice Board for Member Contributions
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💌 Want To Be Our Next Guest?
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We’re always looking for late-diagnosed or self-identified neurodivergent adults who are ready to share their story on The Late Diagnosis Club.
Tell us a little about yourself and your diagnosis journey here:
💜 Whether you’ve just realised you’re autistic, ADHD, dyslexic, or you’re still figuring it out — your story belongs here. We’ve saved you a seat.
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A huge thank-you to our founding supporters of Autistic Culture Plus, who believed in this network before it even launched.
Our Executive Producers and Producers make this work possible — funding neurodivergent creators, amplifying Autistic voices, and helping build a media ecosystem rooted in pride, creativity, and community.
These members form the foundation of the Autistic Culture Podcast Network, and you’ll see their names credited at the end of our shows and on our website.
🎙️ Executive Producers
Amy Burns, Anamaria B Call, Andrew Banner, Anna Goodson, Ashley Apelzin, Audrea Volker, Ben Coulson, Brian Churcek, Cappy Hamper, Carley Biblin, Charlene Deva, Chloe Cross, Clay Duhigg, Clayton Oliver, Danny Dunn, Daria Brown, David Garrido, Emily Burgess, Eric Crane, Erik Stenerud, Fiona Baker, Grace Norman, Helen Shaddock, Jaimie Collins, Jason Killian, Jen Unruh, Jennifer Carpenter, Julia Tretter, Kathie Watson-Gray, Kenneth Knowles, Kira Cotter, Kristine Lang, Kyle Raney, Llew P Williams, Laura Alvarado, Laura De Vito, Laura Provonsha, Lily George, Nelly Darmi, Nigel Rogers, Rachel Miller, Tim Scott, Tyler Kunz, Victoria Steed, Yanina Wood.
🎧 Producers
AJ Knight, Bobby Simon, Da Kovac, Eleanor Collins, Emily Griffiths, Hannah Hughes, Jennifer Kemp, Jonas Fløde, Kate F, Katie N Benitez, Kendra Murphy, Lisa Dennys, Logan Wall, Louise Lomas, Melissa Nance, Nicola Owen, Rebecka Johansson, Sam Morris, Sarah Hannah Morris.