How Julie Understood Herself After Raising an Autistic Child
In this episode, Angela speaks with Julie M. Green about recognising her own autism through parenting — and what changes when lifelong shyness and perfectionism are finally understood.
In this meeting of The Late Diagnosis Club, Dr Angela Kingdon welcomes Julie M. Green, a writer, Autistic mother, and late-identified Autistic woman whose self-recognition unfolded through parenting.
Julie’s story begins not with her own diagnosis, but with her son’s. As she learned how to support an Autistic child, she slowly began to recognise familiar patterns in herself — sensory sensitivity, rigidity, perfectionism, chronic illness, and lifelong shyness that had always been framed as personality flaws rather than neurodivergence.
Together, Angela and Julie explore maternal guilt, masking across decades, self- and formal diagnosis, and what changes — and what doesn’t — when you finally have language for your nervous system.
🎧 Listen to this episode:
🪑 Attendees
Chair: Dr Angela Kingdon — Author, community-builder, and Autistic advocate
Guest: Julie M. Green — Autistic writer, Author, and mother
You: The Listener!
🗒️ Meeting Agenda
Opening remarks from the Chair
Member introduction: Childhood signs without diagnosis
Discussion: Parenting an autistic child while recognising autism in yourself
Masking, perfectionism, and decades of mislabeling
Self-diagnosis, formal diagnosis, and imposter syndrome
Key learnings
Club announcements
🧾 Minutes from the Meeting
1️⃣ Opening Remarks
Angela introduces Julie as a member whose story begins in a paediatrician’s office — not for herself, but for her son. What started as advocacy and research quickly became a mirror, reflecting traits Julie had carried since childhood but never had language for.
2️⃣ Member Introduction: Julie’s Story
Julie grew up in the 1970s and 80s as a highly anxious, perfectionistic, and extremely shy child. Changes in routine triggered meltdowns, collections were rigidly organised, and sensory sensitivities shaped daily life — all framed at the time as personality flaws or the result of being an only child.
In school, Julie was quiet, compliant, and high-achieving. Anxiety and perfectionism were invisible to teachers, while internal distress went unnamed.
Years later, as a first-time mother, Julie struggled with sensory overload, shutdowns, and intense guilt. When her son was diagnosed with autism at age three, Julie immersed herself in research — first to support him, and eventually to understand herself.
3️⃣ Discussion Highlights
Masking and mislabelling: Shyness, rigidity, and perfectionism framed as flaws
Maternal guilt: Internalising blame for sensory overwhelm and burnout
Self-recognition: Seeing autistic traits through parenting without immediately claiming identity
Diagnosis decisions: Self-diagnosis, formal assessment, and imposter syndrome
Disclosure: Navigating silence, validation, and scepticism from others
Autistic parenting: Modelling boundaries, regulation, and self-advocacy
4️⃣ Key Learnings
Autism can become visible through caregiving before self-recognition
Compliance and quiet achievement often hide distress
Formal diagnosis may change nothing — and everything
Self-diagnosis is valid; seeking assessment is a personal choice
Modelling boundaries is a powerful form of parenting
Understanding yourself can reduce shame across generations
📌 Notice Board
Link for Julie’s book:
Motherness: A Memoir of Generational Autism, Parenthood, and Radical Acceptance
Julie’s Substack:
📣 Club Announcements
🎧 The Late Diagnosis Club is available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and all major platforms.
💬 Join our online meetups and community at latediagnosis.club.
📌 Check the LDC Notice Board for Member Contributions
💜 There is a small charge — but no one is turned away for lack of funds.
💌 Want To Be Our Next Guest?
If you’ve been nodding along and thinking, “That could be my story,” we want to hear from you.
We’re always looking for late-diagnosed or self-identified neurodivergent adults who are ready to share their story on The Late Diagnosis Club.
Tell us a little about yourself and your diagnosis journey here:
💜 Whether you’ve just realised you’re Autistic, ADHD, dyslexic, or you’re still figuring it out — your story belongs here. We’ve saved you a seat.
💫 Why Your Support Matters
When you join Autistic Culture Plus or pitch a show to the Autistic Culture Podcast Network, you’re doing more than subscribing to a podcast —
You’re investing in Autistic-led media.
Included with Autistic Culture Plus
• Ad-free listening (sensory-friendly)
• Early access to every episode
• Exclusive archive of ~100 classic episodes
Every pound, dollar, or share helps:
🎙️ Fund neurodivergent creators — paying Autistic hosts, editors, and producers for their work
🌍 Amplify Autistic voices and stories that mainstream media too often overlooks
💡 Build an ecosystem of culture, not pathology — where being Autistic is celebrated, not “treated”
🤝 Support accessible, sensory-friendly storytelling made with our community in mind
For less than the price of a coffee, you help sustain a growing network that’s 100% by and for neurodivergent people — ensuring that Autistic stories, creativity, and brilliance reach the audiences they deserve.
Joining isn’t just a subscription.
It’s solidarity. Visibility. Community in action.
💜 With Gratitude
A huge thank-you to our founding supporters of Autistic Culture Plus, who believed in this network before it even launched.
Our Executive Producers and Producers make this work possible — funding neurodivergent creators, amplifying Autistic voices, and helping build a media ecosystem rooted in pride, creativity, and community.
These members form the foundation of the Autistic Culture Podcast Network, and you’ll see their names credited at the end of our shows and on our website.
🎙️ Executive Producers
Amy Burns, Anamaria B Call, Andrew Banner, Anna Goodson, Ashley Apelzin, Audrea Volker, Ben Coulson, Brian Churcek, Cappy Hamper, Carley Biblin, Charlene Deva, Chloe Cross, Clay Duhigg, Clayton Oliver, Danny Dunn, Daria Brown, David Garrido, Emily Burgess, Eric Crane, Erik Stenerud, Fiona Baker, Grace Norman, Helen Shaddock, Jaimie Collins, Jason Killian, Jen Unruh, Jennifer Carpenter, Julia Tretter, Kathie Watson-Gray, Kenneth Knowles, Kira Cotter, Kristine Lang, Kyle Raney, Llew P Williams, Laura Alvarado, Laura De Vito, Laura Provonsha, Lily George, Nelly Darmi, Nigel Rogers, Rachel Miller, Tim Scott, Tyler Kunz, Victoria Steed, Yanina Wood.
🎧 Producers
AJ Knight, Bobby Simon, Da Kovac, Eleanor Collins, Emily Griffiths, Hannah Hughes, Jennifer Kemp, Jonas Fløde, Kate F, Katie N Benitez, Kendra Murphy, Lisa Dennys, Logan Wall, Louise Lomas, Melissa Nance, Nicola Owen, Rebecka Johansson, Sam Morris, Sarah Hannah Morris.