How Katharine Spent 40 Years in Therapy Before Discovering She Was Autistic
In this meeting of The Late Diagnosis Club, Dr Angela Kingdon welcomes Katharine Gates, who shares how a lifetime of achievement, masking, and misdiagnosis led to a late recognition of Autism and ADHD
In this meeting of The Late Diagnosis Club, Dr Angela Kingdon welcomes Katharine Gates, a writer, artist, and long-time creative who identified as Autistic and ADHD after a lifetime of questioning herself.
Katharine shares how she spent decades feeling like the “odd one out” — academically gifted, outwardly successful, yet constantly struggling with everyday life, relationships, and a persistent sense that something didn’t quite fit.
After 40 years of therapy, misdiagnoses, and searching for answers, it was a period of autistic burnout that finally led her to recognise her neurodivergence and begin to reframe her life.
This is a conversation about being misunderstood for decades — and what changes when you finally understand yourself.
🎧 Listen to this episode:
🪑 Attendees
Chair: Dr Angela Kingdon — Author, community-builder, and Autistic advocate
Guest: Katharine Gates — writer, artist, and Autistic + ADHD creator
You: The Listener!
🗒️ Meeting Agenda
Opening remarks from the Chair
Member introduction: Gifted child, lifelong difference
Discussion: Masking, achievement, and burnout
Privilege and hidden accommodations
ADHD + Autism dual identification
Alexithymia and emotional processing
Special interests and bottom-up thinking
Family patterns and generational neurodivergence
Self-compassion and dropping shame
Key learnings
Club announcements
🧾 Minutes from the Meeting
1️⃣ Opening Remarks
Angela introduces Katharine Gates, whose story reflects a common Late Diagnosis Club experience — decades of feeling different, capable, and confused all at once.
2️⃣ Member Introduction: Katharine’s Story
Katharine describes herself as an “exceedingly odd child,” growing up academically gifted but struggling to translate that success into everyday life.
She became highly skilled at masking — orienting her life around achievement and external validation — while privately questioning why basic things felt so difficult.
Over time, this led to cycles of burnout, misdiagnosis, and self-blame, with labels such as depression, anxiety, substance use, and personality disorder used to explain her experiences.
It wasn’t until a major burnout in adulthood that Katharine encountered the concept of autistic burnout and began recognising herself in Autistic narratives.
3️⃣ Discussion Highlights
Gifted but struggling: Academic success masking real challenges
Hyper masking: Performing competence at the cost of burnout
Burnout trigger: Brain “stopping” rather than emotional collapse
Therapist dismissal: Being told she “just wanted to feel special”
ADHD alongside Autism: Dual identification later in the process
Alexithymia: Difficulty identifying and processing emotions
Masking as performance: Life experienced as “putting on a show”
Parenting moment: Struggles with empathy prompting deeper reflection
Generational patterns: Neurodivergence, trauma, and coping across family lines
Special interests: Deep dives into systems, patterns, and categorisation
4️⃣ Key Learnings
You can be highly capable and still struggle deeply.
Masking can delay recognition for decades.
Privilege can both hide support needs and meet them.
Burnout can be the turning point toward understanding.
Emotional processing differences are often overlooked.
Special interests can shape identity, career, and meaning.
Self-compassion can be one of the most powerful outcomes of a diagnosis.
📣 Club Announcements
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🎙️ Executive Producers
Amy Burns, Anamaria B Call, Andrew Banner, Anna Goodson, Ashley Apelzin, Audrea Volker, Ben Coulson, Brian Churcek, Cappy Hamper, Carley Biblin, Charlene Deva, Chloe Cross, Clay Duhigg, Clayton Oliver, Danny Dunn, Daria Brown, David Garrido, Emily Burgess, Eric Crane, Erik Stenerud, Fiona Baker, Grace Norman, Helen Shaddock, Jaimie Collins, Jason Killian, Jen Unruh, Jennifer Carpenter, Julia Tretter, Kathie Watson-Gray, Kenneth Knowles, Kira Cotter, Kristine Lang, Kyle Raney, Llew P Williams, Laura Alvarado, Laura De Vito, Laura Provonsha, Lily George, Nelly Darmi, Nigel Rogers, Rachel Miller, Tim Scott, Tyler Kunz, Victoria Steed, Yanina Wood.
🎧 Producers
AJ Knight, Bobby Simon, Da Kovac, Eleanor Collins, Emily Griffiths, Hannah Hughes, Jennifer Kemp, Jonas Fløde, Kate F, Katie N Benitez, Kendra Murphy, Lisa Dennys, Logan Wall, Louise Lomas, Melissa Nance, Nicola Owen, Rebecka Johansson, Sam Morris, Sarah Hannah Morris.