Wow, a fascinating read. I was diagnosed with autism 6 months ago at 33 and had only suspected it for about a year or year and a half prior. Like many, I did not understand the nuance of autism in women specifically and once I finally locked in on researching the topic extensively, it was undeniable. My evaluator was female and the evaluation was done over multiple hours on multiple days. I just saw a male psychiatrist last week who dismissed the diagnosis within an hour of meeting me saying I'm "too articulate" to be autistic. I frankly found it very gross behavior for a psychiatrist and I've had plenty of terrible experiences with psychs, unfortunately. A common theme of denying my lived experience.
I was diagnosed with Autism & ADHD earlier this year, I'm 51 years old now. I was told by a psychiatrist friend that they didn't see the Autism. I started trying to justify a diagnosis (that I didn't agree with at first because it I a lot to process).
What I wished I had been able to say was, the diagnostic criteria is written by and for those outside looking at a presentation that makes them uncomfortable because it is different. They struggle to control it, and understand the motivation for it, so there must be a deficit in the person rather than the environment.
I have spent my life masking thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, to make those around me more comfortable. This has resulted in substance abuse, emotional abuse, domestic abuse, emotional disregulation, and unsurprisingly a list of mental health problems. It is difficult to stop masking and painful to continue.
Difficult because I will be accused of making myself more autistic for attention, and it is now a learned behaviour easy to slip back into but exhausting. Painful because now I know the masking caused so much damage, I have felt the difference of not masking, I notice the difference when I let myself stim or be absorbed, or don't make eye contact, or don't engage in small talk.
I wish I had said I am happy to explain this to you from a lived experience, rather than trying to justify it by listing diagnostic criteria.
Wonderful! Thank you for all your hard work. I'd love to have you on my YouTube channel to talk about your research and it's implications. YouTube.com/@neuroawesomelife
This post made me cry. I just published a zine on my own Substack about my experience as an autistic woman seeking a “clinical” diagnosis and (long story short) it was a MESS. Thank you so much for your work on this and for sharing it here!!
You are amazing and this work is so important--thank you!
Thanks for reading and your feedback!
Wow, a fascinating read. I was diagnosed with autism 6 months ago at 33 and had only suspected it for about a year or year and a half prior. Like many, I did not understand the nuance of autism in women specifically and once I finally locked in on researching the topic extensively, it was undeniable. My evaluator was female and the evaluation was done over multiple hours on multiple days. I just saw a male psychiatrist last week who dismissed the diagnosis within an hour of meeting me saying I'm "too articulate" to be autistic. I frankly found it very gross behavior for a psychiatrist and I've had plenty of terrible experiences with psychs, unfortunately. A common theme of denying my lived experience.
I was diagnosed with Autism & ADHD earlier this year, I'm 51 years old now. I was told by a psychiatrist friend that they didn't see the Autism. I started trying to justify a diagnosis (that I didn't agree with at first because it I a lot to process).
What I wished I had been able to say was, the diagnostic criteria is written by and for those outside looking at a presentation that makes them uncomfortable because it is different. They struggle to control it, and understand the motivation for it, so there must be a deficit in the person rather than the environment.
I have spent my life masking thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, to make those around me more comfortable. This has resulted in substance abuse, emotional abuse, domestic abuse, emotional disregulation, and unsurprisingly a list of mental health problems. It is difficult to stop masking and painful to continue.
Difficult because I will be accused of making myself more autistic for attention, and it is now a learned behaviour easy to slip back into but exhausting. Painful because now I know the masking caused so much damage, I have felt the difference of not masking, I notice the difference when I let myself stim or be absorbed, or don't make eye contact, or don't engage in small talk.
I wish I had said I am happy to explain this to you from a lived experience, rather than trying to justify it by listing diagnostic criteria.
Wonderful! Thank you for all your hard work. I'd love to have you on my YouTube channel to talk about your research and it's implications. YouTube.com/@neuroawesomelife
Yes please! You can email me
I look forward to the conversation!
I would recommend that you edit your comment and take your email address out. I wouldn't want trolls or bots to get a hold of it.
Email sent. 😊
This post made me cry. I just published a zine on my own Substack about my experience as an autistic woman seeking a “clinical” diagnosis and (long story short) it was a MESS. Thank you so much for your work on this and for sharing it here!!
Thank you for finally acknowledging us who are self-identifying for many reasons!!!
“find an autism led group to join”—-> any leads?
Just read your post about this over on Facebook and came directly here to share it on Reddit