[Updated] Am I Actually Autistic? INTRODUCTION

From misfit to belonging: how reframing autism as culture, not defect, transforms late discovery from identity shock into self-acceptance.

Finding out you’re autistic later in life can feel like the ground shifting beneath you. For many of us, the realization doesn’t come with relief at first—it comes with identity shock. Suddenly, the struggles you’ve carried for decades make sense, but the world still expects you to carry on as though nothing has changed. This chapter opens with Angela Kingdon’s story: growing up without access to a diagnosis, being misjudged as difficult or morally flawed, and only later discovering that autism is not a defect but a culture.

Identity shock, Angela explains, mirrors culture shock—like moving to a new country where your instincts and habits suddenly feel “wrong.” The difference is that autistic culture isn’t rooted in geography but in neurology. By reframing autism as a culture with its own values, traditions, and ways of being, Angela finally found belonging and self-acceptance. This introduction sets the stage for the rest of the book: a guide for embracing autistic identity, rejecting harmful stereotypes, and learning to live as if you’ve always been in the right place all along.