[UPDATED] CHAPTER 1: I WAS AUTISTIC ALL ALONG

Why autistic self-identification is often more accurate than a rushed evaluation and how trusting yourself becomes the first act of belonging.

From childhood to adulthood, Angela was told she was “difficult,” “dramatic,” or just plain “too much.” Friends kept her as a secret, teachers scolded her for correcting them, bosses demanded she pledge never to swear again. Like many undiagnosed autistic women, she internalized the message that her personality was broken and needed fixing. This chapter traces the long road from being mislabeled and misdiagnosed to finally receiving an autism diagnosis at age 39—yet finding that the label itself wasn’t enough to bring relief.

Instead, the turning point came with self-identification: recognizing that autism wasn’t a defect to cure but a culture to belong to. Through stories of childhood traits, failed therapies, and workplace struggles, Angela shows how CBT pushed her into deeper masking and burnout, while acceptance of autistic identity offered freedom. The chapter makes a case that real healing starts not with diagnosis or behavior change but with embracing your autistic self. You’ll learn how self-identification can transform shame into clarity, and how that shift is the first step toward building “a life you don’t need a vacation from.”