[UPDATED] CHAPTER 3: MAKING SENSE OF IMPOSTER SYNDROME

From second-guessing to self-knowing: metabolizing identity shock with bottom-up evidence instead of external approval.

Getting a diagnosis isn’t the same as believing it. Many autistic people, especially those diagnosed later in life, struggle with imposter syndrome—wondering if they’re “really” autistic, if they tricked the evaluator, or if they’re just making excuses. This chapter unpacks why those doubts are so common: shifting medical definitions, media stereotypes, dismissive reactions from family and coworkers, and the heavy burden of masking all conspire to make us second-guess ourselves. Angela calls this not a bug but a feature of autistic culture—deep questioning and bottom-up processing are part of how our minds work.

You’ll learn why autism is better understood as a constellation of traits, not a straight line from “mild” to “severe,” and how that understanding can help quiet the voice that says you’re not “autistic enough.” You’ll also see why disclosure often brings rejection instead of relief, and why imposter syndrome is more about cultural invalidation than personal truth. Most importantly, this chapter lays out the start of a home assessment process—a way to metabolize identity shock, explore your traits, and claim autistic identity on your own terms. If you’ve ever felt caught between knowing and not knowing, this chapter shows you how to make peace with your truth.