I Wish I’d Had This as a Teen

GROVE’s online groups for Autistic young people are open now and here’s what I’ll be teaching this Autumn.

Sep 26, 2025

One of the most common threads in the late diagnosed community is grief for what we didn’t have growing up. Many of us only learned in our 20s, 30s, 40s, or later that we are neurodivergent and by then, years of self-hate, masking, and burnout had already taken their toll. Of course, I have spent many hours imagining what might have been different if someone had told me earlier: “You’re not broken. You’re Autistic. And that’s okay.”

That question — what if we’d known sooner? — is what drew me to working at GROVE Neurodivergent Mentoring & Education. GROVE is a UK-based nonprofit that creates Autistic-led, interest-driven spaces for young people (ages 8–18). It’s not therapy or school, and it’s not about “fixing” anyone. Instead, it’s about giving Autistic young people what many of us longed for: safe communities where they can explore passions, connect with peers, and see themselves reflected in their mentors.

This autumn, I’ll be a few leading groups for Autistic young people. And I wanted to share this with you because it connects directly to some good news in the world of Autistic Culture (which is needed badly this week!) The world is finally beginning to build the kinds of spaces we needed when we were younger.

Back in My Day

When I was a teenager, I lived for penpals. At the back of music magazines there were these forms you could fill out to find someone else who liked the bands you checked on the reply card. You would send in this card and they would send you back an address for a penpal. I had penpals from all over the world, and what bound us together wasn’t small talk or “How’s school?” It was music.

We traded cassette tapes, carefully rewound with pencil ends so they wouldn’t snap, and letters filled with U2 lyrics, Bob Geldof references, and speculation about Michael Jackson’s next video. These exchanges were electric. I didn’t know it, but I was speaking my native language. The language of info-dumping. Many of us in penpal-land were hyperlexic and passion-filled. We were Autistic kids connecting Autistically before most of us had that language, finding belonging through deep dives into special interests.

I wish I’d had something like GROVE back then.

Because what GROVE creates is the same kind of magic: Autistic-first spaces where young people can connect over passions, share in ways that feel natural, and be seen without having to explain.

And Here’s Where You Come In & What I’ll Be Teaching This Autumn

If you know an Autistic young person — your child, a niece or nephew, a friend’s kid — who’s between 8 and 18, I’d love for you to tell them about these groups. I know how scary it can feel to sign up for something new, especially when you’ve been burned by school or “social skills” programs that made you feel wrong for being yourself. But GROVE is different. These sessions are led by Autistic mentors, interest-based, and fully flexible. No one is forced to talk, turn on a camera, or perform. The whole point is to create the kind of space many of us wish we’d had as kids, where you can just be, and where your passions are welcomed, not policed.

Even if you’re not a parent, you probably know a young person who could benefit from this. Sharing this with them is a way of passing on what we didn’t get: a chance to belong earlier, with less shame, and with more joy.

Here are the groups I’ll be working with by the day.