#ActuallyAutistic podcast hosts, Dr. Angela Lauria and Matt Lowry, LPP, interview Dr. Kade Sharp to discuss the ways that kink fits into Autistic culture.
What is kink (spoiler: it’s not necessarily sexual!), what are some common kinks, and are “kinksters” dangerous or ill?
The fundamental flaws in most research methods that explore Autistic sexuality.
Stereotypes and misunderstandings that most people have about the kink community.
Kinky spreadsheets and other Autistic systems of communicating comfort and consent.
Honoring sensory differences, connecting through SPINs, defined expectations, and other ways that the kink community appeals to so many autistics.
How kink helps neurodivergent folks to feel empowered—regardless of whether or not they identify as a kinkster.
Tips on exploring kink with partners, finding kinky folks to explore with, and getting kinky solo.
“I think I just found out I'm kinky.”
“I think a lot of your listeners are going to find that out today.”
“Someone asked if he was my biological son. And I said, ‘why, yes.’ And somebody was like, ‘well, how did you make him?’ And…It occurred to me while answering this question: there is a big myth out there that we do not have the sex.”
“Kink is not just sexual. So, in fact, a good proportion of the folks that responded to my eligibility survey for the study were on the aro/ace spectrum.”
“There's so much unspoken stuff and so much resentment because allistic partners say, ‘You should know what I want,’ or that kind of nonsense. But when you explicitly negotiate and have spreadsheets regarding everything from eye contact to butt stuff, it makes relationships run a lot smoother.”
Are you an Autistic kinkster? How does kink help empower you? Share in the comments! #AutisticCultureCatch
Guest Bio:
Dr. Kade Sharp (he/they) is an autistic transgender Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker practicing in Richland, Washington, at Spectrum Counseling, his private practice, where he sees therapy clients, supervises clinicians working toward licensure, and provides case consultation for colleagues. Kade is also a Registered Play Therapist-Supervisor and a certified Child Mental Health Specialist. He has his PhD in Clinical Sexology through Modern Sex Therapy Institutes. Kade has a clinical focus on working with autistic and trans folks of all ages, especially those with anxiety challenges. His volunteer work over the past ten years has been with local LGBTQ+ youth centers, Pride organizations, the Diversity Equity Inclusion team at a local school district, and serving on the WA state chapter of the Association for Play Therapy board.
Resources:
A Kink in the Spectrum (Kade's dissertation)
Dr. Erin Findley (dissertation chair)
Dr. Amy Pearson (dissertation committee member)
Dr. Nick Walker (dissertation committee member)
Neurokink (Kade's side project & mailing list)
Mojoupgrade (digital kink checklist)
Bex Talks Sex's Super Powered Yes/No/Maybe List (printable)
Thrive (an annual virtual BDSM & Mental Health Conference)
Dr. Faith G Harper's publications on sex, kink, & mental health
Dr. Emily Nagoski's publication on sex
Dr. Katie Munday's research and advocacy
FetLife (kink social media)
Hiki (autistic dating app)
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Kink is Autistic (Episode 69)